Monday, June 7, 2010

When your not looking?

... Some say when your not looking that things have a way of finding you.

Untill very recently I wouldn't have been inclinded to beleive that.

You see I have been off in my own little world. Working, Living, trying to make ends meet and taking care of me and my roots of this tree.

Many know that I am admist a Divorce, and while honestly I still struggle daily with that its mainly the fact that I didnt beleive in Divorce.

I am absolute however that things will be better in the end, and that timing was enevitable. Over the past 12 years I endured, and shed out more than anyone should ever have to - and its clear to me I needed to be free.

So ... Here I was doing well. Enjoying my solitude, and although yes, scarey in many times and wondered what the future would have really didnt entertain the real idea of finding someone - or something to fix me. Only God and I could have done that.

So thats what I did.

For the past 4 months I have been in therapy, group sessions and healing clinics to make sure I was staying true to myself, my beleives and the plans God has in store for me. Keeping all boundries in check.

So could this be?
Could this be that when your not looking, you are found? Did this man find me, through God because of this? so many questions and so much to explore.

I guess I can look at it this way. While I totally had a "thing" for this guy, at that point it was more of a flirty look your way thing. And honestly prayed that if my future was to include something that wonderful, that the seed be planted in Gods time not mine... with that I was happy being me, learning more of me. living for me.

Lets skip forward. I have only seen this Man a few times, and seriously I cannot place my finger on whats happening. But I want to see!

Im scared. Im nervous. I dont deserve this - Do I? Can he be real? can this be God's time and plan?

No comments:

Post a Comment