Thursday, July 22, 2010

My Life : Major Update

I simply cannot sit here and pretend that I have the time to go back and blog all that has been going on so I decided to do a Major update -- thanks guys for pestering me to get on it too!
I forget some of you who are so far away, and even close, still want to know whats been happening.

Well... lets start with today and work back a month!

Im in love. Yeah you heard the L word. Seriously I cannot explain it any other way. I hoped for a bit it was a "fling" a " void " a selfish need... ANYTHING but this, but it is, I am happy to say Love. It has to be. I have never felt this way before -and each new day is amazing. The connection on so many levels drives me crazy and I sometimes do get caught up in the wow - how do I deserve this?! Is it always perfect oh heck now! Infact I would say we have our struggles pretty well carved out for us. Financially, physically... theres just alot! But so worth it. Its amazing. I hate not being near Tim, and him I. We have spent just about every evening together, and often times end up talking late into the night. Can this be real?

More than just Tim, I am in love with his family! His children are amazing, his parents I am pretty sure are my ideal inlaws, and his sister is simply my long lost sister! NO LIE when I am with each of them I feel like I have always been there, or should have always been there, and that everything is natural. I love that feeling, and just the acceptance of Madaya and I.

Which brings me to Madaya...
Wow - the changes Ive seen in her are amazing. She loves having Tim around, is enjoying settling back into a routine again, and is acting more and more like herself each new day. We still have alot of melt downs and the typical 3 year old drama but taking it all in stride.
She misses her dad, and its getting harder and harder to encourage her connection to him, simply because she gets so angry when she does get to communicate with him!.

Hanna --- well lets see shes still a puppy and keeps me ( and now Tim ) super busy. Shes chewing EVERYTHING right now. Grr. It drives me nuts. But soon will grow out of it I hope. Ill have to post a new pic but shes so cute. Shes growing fast too! Shes 7 months old its hard to beleive! Besides being a pup shes loving spending time with Tim's dog " MIA " . Mia, is an english mastif and they get along famously as if they have been raised together. Mia is 3, so she is deffinetely showing Hanna the ropes!

Work - I am still working PT for Pediatrix Medical Group. For the most past it keeps me about 20 hours a week. Im loving it and praying to advance soon!

School - Its been 4 weeks and I am still struggling to get a good routine down. By some miracle I am maintaning a 97% in 2 of my classes ( English Comp & Word ) but, sadly have had to drop Accounting. I didnt get the book until 4 weeks into the class, at which point the instructor wanted all 4 weeks worth in 1 week and current lessons. JUST NOT DOABLE and I am not the only one this happened to!
I am planning on trying again in the fall though.
Speaking of fall for school - i want to go FT. BUT struggling with the financial aid side of it still. The divorce isnt final so they still count mikes income and say I cannot get help! It drives me nuts! I may have to take loans but again all in time. Im working on it.

Fun - I really havent had too much excess time honestly but when we do get out its been to the lake, the park or for a ride. Its been fun, but not near as much as I am used to or like... I need to be out more!

Home front... well theres big news. As things are right now Madaya and I cannot stay in this house. I have fought to afford it but simply cannot. My mom is helping with 1/2 the rent but shes struggling too and its just not working out. Right now we have a tentitive plan to move to Tim's in a couple of months, but that comes with great struggle so I am praying for the right direction!

Divorce : Well.. some will and some wont be suprised to learn its still not final! Court has come and gone, and mike has not done anything on his end that needed to be done - so... I am the one stuck waiting. If it goes to trial I plan on asking for 50% of all assets and re-doing the parenting plan to revoke joint offers. I hope he comes to his senses soon and realizes how easy and nice he has it but .... so far, oy, im going to reserve most comments!

Alright I need to get some things updated on here, and then return to the real world. I will try to keep up more. I miss blogging.