Tuesday, May 25, 2010

New blog for this new chapter

As I struggle to wrap up the ends in this Divorce ( and yes, I will release most blogs about it in time ) I am so excited to finally introduce my new blog.
This is going to continue to be my safe place, my therapy and my page to share my trials and triumphs.
I moved to this blog because like much of the past, its time to move on, and let the past be the past which also means some of the people in it.
I figure those who care, cared then... will care tomorrow and its only those I want to share every peice with!

I will update with this:

As of today we are coming to an agreement in the divorce settlement. Things have been rocky but I have held tight to my self convictions and beleifs and while I know I could have had more I am happy to say that its almost done, and its not at all about what I did or didnt get. Mike is moving on ( planning to marry his girlfriend ) and Madaya and I are struggling to find our safe ground. I am remaining stable, since he hasn't and trying to provide the best I can for Roo bug. Slowly shes coming around and I am starting to notice big things in her. One step at a time....

I will release the other blogs as I feel safe in doing so.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Finch Strings Concert

Tonight was Morgans Strings concert.

It was very cool.

Madaya, Mom and I went and watched Morgan and 1100 of his closest ;) friends play in the Spokane Arena.

Morgan plays the Viola and is in the 5th Grade Strings program at Finch - he got to join all the other spokane schools in putting this thing together. Truely Amazing. I am such a proud aunt!
Wish I could have gotten better photos - but only had the point and shoot!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

This is how I "row"

Many of you know the passion I have for the lake, I have been spending some much needed time there. It's often one of the only places I feel like God and I agree on life. The beauty of nature, the sounds of the season, and the peacefulness is enough to make me forget anything I am currently going through, dream about where I want to be and leaves me longing for the next time I come back.
Recently this has found a new chapter - I decided to take a Kayaking class to better educate myself on the true forms, and safety of the sport. I know I know how hard can it be right--- ha - GO TRY IT!
I love the challenge its posed, the people Ive met, and the fun that I have had. Its the most private thing Ive done for me in a very long time, and while I enjoy the idea that I could get lost in the waters that surround me the reality is is that it too comes to an end, but is something I can easily do whenever.
I am in the process of getting a Kayak that Roo and I may both enjoy. Right now I will settle for renting, but either way its a great way to "row".
I snapped these pics while out today --- Guess who plans to add photography back into her life :) ( these however were with a point and shoot )

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Lilac Parade: absolutely fine

Today Selina and I took the kids downtown to the Lilac Parade. It was a great afternoon.
We even got to see Steven and Becky and their kids!
As far as emotionally it wasnt near as hard as I thought it would be. After all I think its just sinking in that these are all things Ive always done with roo alone anyways so the fact that I didnt/dont have a partner to do these things with isnt really a factor into things at all its more the loss of the idea that I would love to have that with someone!
Roo and I got down there and found our seating area ( same corner we always try to sit on ) and then grabbed dinner. We did Panda. Also got a coffee and just sat in the chair as roo played in the street with the other children down there. There were bubbles, balls and frizbees and they all just enjoyed themselves.
Once the parade started Daya was loving the " princesses " and the lights on the floats. She made it about 1/4 way through and then totally passed out in her stroller. It amazes me she can sleep through all that :)

So excited!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mothers Day - Rocks

For mothers day I helped Daya, Vicky and Nathan make stepping stones for the momma's! We had a blast playing in the cement and decorating them.
Dayas school also invited me to lunch with Daya on Friday - Daya made a card for me with her picture and a plant on it and we had taco's for lunch ( her favorite ). I could have spent the whole day in the classroom, but had to get back to work :(
It was a great mothers day!

see mine?

Mommy took lunch break with roo!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Blooming... me.

This year I totally stuck to my goal and did Bloomsday! For me!
As it would happen I had surgery about 4 days prior to, and a tail bone injury a week prior to it, so I was in no condition to run.
My friend, Olga, "walked" with me - and we had a blast... Heres the deal :
With 15 stitches in a not so conveiniant or comfortable place, and having very little time to train I belted out a quick 8 miles with a time of ..................... 1 hour 52minutes! Amazing for a "walk".
I think it helped that we started with the breakfast of champions : Thomas Hammer!

.... Next year I hope to be back to running, and do it in 45 min or so!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Oh roo bug

Things have been so tough with roo lately. She is seeing her counselor ( THANK GOD ) and it does help but I know the root of the problem is all the commotion from her dads side of things. There is still no stable home, no set place and although there is a every other weekend schedule its not to the point that its well established yet.
Mike calls off often, or cant take her cause of work alot still, and shes feeling that.

In good news shes more and more open when she comes home from there. She is talking more and more of Selina and Daddy and I am working very hard on the " its ok " issue with her. Trying to instill in her that she is first in his life ( i just pray so! ) and that Daddy and Selina live together and she may be a big part of her life. While I dont always like the idea, I do like that she seems to take good care of her while there! I have yet to meet her.

Roo loves going to school and thats proving to be a good outlet for her - shes also starting to show more interest in her home schooling things again, and her toys that she didnt like for awhile, all things I am told are good signs that shes feeling ok here and protected - thank god cause I am working my butt off to prove her stability and love.