Sunday, December 27, 2009

WLS Update : 9 months post op

9 months post op - No way!

I do not know how this time keeps going by so quickly. It dawned on me Christmas Morning that at this time last year I was crying cause I was dissapointed that my surgery had been post poned. What a difference a year had made though -

here I was sitting in my chair which is way too big for me now, in sweats I hade bought on clearance last year after christmas in hopes I would fit into them ( a size 4/6 ) that are now too loose on me, and so different in each and every way now.

I am blessed and what better way to remember it?! I broke out the photos of last christmas to recall. This is still an incredibly painful thing to do. I had no idea how depressed the weight really made me and visa versa!

So ... 9 months here is where I am at.

Emotionally: I still have my struggles. More so with the fact that what the pro's warned be about others and how they handle my journey is true! Many are no ok with the fact that I changed my habbits, my styles and my needs. They dont handle me being selfish with my needs, despite the fact that other that food being for nutrition only now, I haven't changed for or with them in any other way. I struggle daily thinking and worrying about what others think and I am working hard to correct this. As we know its not about " them ". I don't cry as often as I used to, but I am still very much having " anxiety " attacks if you will, when I go out to eat, think about a big holiday or gathering with food etc. I work myself into a panic about wondering when and if I can eat ok when others are around. My comfort zones are well known as well as my comfort foods. Its clear now how much emotions really did play into my food choices back then.

Self Image : I struggle. I do now see " ME " in the mirror, but its not the reflection I expected to see. I don't expect anyone to know what that means but when I look I still see what I know of me. Loving, Caring, Fun, Happy, and Free..... just much smaller on the outside. Just as much as I used to pick myself apart when I was bigger, I do it now that I am smaller. I get sick at the sight of my skin, my rolls and my shape. It makes me sad to think I have no breast, no butt, and wrinkles in my face. I still do not beleive that I can go almost anywhere and buy a size 4/6 and " slip them on ". I am learning to be comfortable but it takes time... and I am still new.

The physcologist thinks I have moved into my new body... were working on the mind.

Self Esteem : WOW! I have always known who I am... but sometimes even I doubted it. Honestly this journey has brought to light many many things. One of them is just how strong I really am. Sure, I know I have endured alot - but at what cost? Now I know why, and that I can do many things on many levels.

I.e. Going back to work. I will use this as my most latest because it is the latest. I have been blessed to have great jobs in my past - a few of which I loved alot.... but this new one is amazing and I am led to beleive alot has to do with who and where I am in life at this moment. I cannot recall a time in recent years I could have been hired for this job, to be on my feet all hours of the day, touching, talking and being looked at my so many families day in and out... without fear of " of my gosh they think Im fat " running through my head! Its nice to not hide behind my phone as a receptionist because I have a great voice - but to be seen as a whole person. As much as I would have liked to think people didnt think I was big, fat or whatever they wanted to call me --- I was. They did!

Its all so different now. I love to slip on my work clothes, put on my make up and think - WOW I AM APRIL AND I CAN DO THIS!

Physically :

I am tired. They say this comes from the low iron levels. I am still anemic.

My bones ACHE!!! And I do mean ache - but they say its because your body isnt used to not having the fat padding it used to around all the joints, and bones in general. This gets better with time ( lord willing! ).

But I am doing ok. I am getting - for the most part - my 6 meals in a day, and am now slowly getting more active in hopes of finding that balance. Soon will be adding in swimming to the plan and looking forward to that!

Summary :

9 months post op RNY Bypass.

Currently about 130lbs and struggling to get back to the 135-140 range!

Size loose 4/6 bottoms and S/M on most tops.

Ring size is now a 7.5 ( was 11 )

Still not cycling normally, batteling thyroid and iron issues.

And since its been a few months since I have done measurments I will post this :

BODY PART DAY OF SURGERY (3/27/09) 6w VISIT (4/20/09) 3m post op (7/14/09) 4 month anniversary (7/27/09) 6m anniversary (9/27/09) & 9 month anniversary (12/27/09 )DIFFERENCE FROM SURGERY DAY!
Left Arm 14.5" 14" 12" 11" 10.75" 10.0" -4.5"
Left Thigh 28.5" 25.75" 21" 19.5" 18.5" 18.5" -10"
Left Calf -- -- -2.75" 14" 14" 13" 13" -3.75"
Chest ( across largest point in bra ) 50.25" 47.5" 42.5" 41" 38" 38" -12.25"

Waist 49" 45.5" 37" 35" 33" 31" -18"
Hips 50" 48" 42" 41" 37" 36" -14"
Neck 15.75" 14.75" 13.5" -- 13" 12.75" -3"
Wrist -- -- -- -- 6" 6" 6" 5.75"

Total loss 65.5+" in 9 months.

Saturday, October 17, 2009


I don't know that I will hold this weight long but it was my pre-surigical goal. To meet this goal would mean that I have now lost 100% of my excess weight!

Going into this the surgeon warned me that I may never see true goal, or that it would/should take about 18-36 months to do so but through the progression of it all it was soon decided I would indeed see that goal.

They wanted me at 135lbs as an ideal weight before my reconstruction and tummy tuck because it is estimated that I am carrying about 20lbs of skin/sub q tissue. So at 135 - 20lbs tech its est. I would be about 115lbs.

Obviously thats too thin, so I don't get to play around with it. I get to try to maintain until I am fixed. Shouldn't be too hard though now that were trying to get pregnant I am sure I can keep/ put on a few pounds!

So as of this morning I think its safe to say I have met my weight goal! I've been floating around it for a couple of weeks now, trying to slow the loss down - but today looks like its here. This is what I found this morning on my scale.....

Now let me say that while I am confident enough to say I have met my goal weight - I am not confident but am truely honest enough to say that I have not met my medical, my mental or my health goals yet. It is taking a toll on me and totally taking its sweet time to all set in. I make poor choices day in and day out and I am trying so hard to break this now while I am a " newbie " before I end up right where I was. Don't say its not possible because its that attitude that does it in.

It is true that " Just 1 bite, or 1 cheat " can do you in... because it rarely stops at just 1. I have to break this cycle NOW!

Health wise - I am still working very hard on getting and staying healthy. I am making sure to take my vitamins daily, and medications. I am working on getting back on track as we work with the endo and the gyn to get pregnant and making sure all the decission I am making are for the best.

Mental wise - I still don't see me as this size, or beleive it. I still have alot of guilt and anger and more and more get the " wow " moments when I realize that I did help myself be unhealthy before. The actions are so clear in hindsight. I like to beat myself up over it though - not good!

So ----

For now I will end this update with this

Today, SATURDAY OCTOBER 17th, 6 months 2 weeks and 6 days since my life changed forever and I walked the new trail of this journey...

I have met my goal - Today I weight 135lbs!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

WLS : 6 Month Surgi-versary

6 months is here and now gone ...

It's now been 6 months since my life changed forever. This past week was full of appointments for and to do with my WLS and my 6 month surgiversary.
First off a check up with my endocrinologist revealed that my thyroid is now being over stimulated, so again, the dose needs lowered. I will drop down to 150mcg of Levoxyl and stay on the 10mcg of sytomel. Hopefully with this tweak my thyroid can become regular again. All other things appear to be somewhat normal or increasingly better from her standpoint.
Second a trip to my OB/GYN to try to figure out why I have yet to pass this latest pregnancy ( they suspected a chemical pg / early misscarriage ) and to find out where my female health stands at this point. What I got out of it was a pap- oh joy, and a lecture on how this much extra skin stores estrogen reserves and can cause some pain down below ( gee- ya think?! ) He did however run more test, update my chart, and tell me that he is 100% ok with me Trying to get pregnant upon my surgeons realease and that we would work in that direction as soon as I am balanced out again. It was good to see him as I havent seen him since after roo was born - and even better see what the scale said.... 139lbs! Fully clothed. With a script for the fertility drugs in hand that we can use when we are ready and some lab slips in the other I left his office to go upstairs to my 3rd and final appointment for my 6 month check up -

I met with Megan Vulcan the ARNP for my 6th month check up at 1pm. I weighed in and then took myseat anxiously because I was feeling like I havent succeeded in this journey.
She came in with a chart that showed somem percentages " 40% 41-60% 61-80% 81-100% " and then my name with a 97%. She didn't say anything about this chart at first, and went on to go over my labs, where I learned I am anemic ( need to go back on iron injections ) and that my overall lab work looked good. Infact so good that it led her to that 97% on the paper..... I am 6 months out and have lost 97% of my excess weight! I have <5lbs style="color:#ff0000;">(226)
Jeans size 6 (18)
Tops S-M (XXL)
Shoes 7 (8.5)
Ring 8 (11)

Measurements :
BODY PART DAY OF SURGERY (3/27/09) 6w VISIT (4/20/09) 3m post op (7/14/09) 4 month anniversary (7/27/09) & 6m anniversary (9/27/09) & DIFFERENCE FROM SURGERY DAY!

Left Arm 14.5" 14" 12" 11" 10.75" -3.75"
Left Thigh 28.5" 25.75" 21" 19.5" 18.5" -10"
Left Calf -- -- -2.75" 14" 14" 13"
Chest ( across largest point in bra ) 50.25" 47.5" 42.5" 41" 38" -12.25"
Waist 49" 45.5" 37" 35" 33" -16"
Hips 50" 48" 42" 41" 37" -13"
Neck 15.75" 14.75" 13.5" -- 13" -2.75"
Wrist -- -- -- -- 6" 6" 6"
Total loss 57.75" in 86lbs!

Monday, September 21, 2009

We knew she was special but now THEY think so too!

A few months back my SIL had received a letter in the mail stating that her daughter had been nominated and would soon be tested for the Tessera program, and they would keep her informed as to if she is making it through each step needed to be accepted into the program... we waited anxiously as they " tested " and did their little hoopla they have to do.
I was one proud auntie for sure to be thinking this is amazing, we know she is so special - now THEY think she is too!

While they tested my neice, they never really said what for, but she kinda knew it was something special because a very select few got to do what she was doing, she handled it very well though and went about her normal 8 year old self funloving summer!

Then comes the best news..... I about screamed ( maybe I did scream?! ) as my SIL read me the letter

( of which I will see if I can attach a copy here )

To the parents of VICTORIA WORLEY,

...... Victoria has been selected for entry into the Tessera program!

Then as she read more I cried. I am so stinking happy for this little girl. She is so bright and shows so much promise. Anyone who sees this child work on math, reading and just about anything inbetween can see she clearly is above where she shoudl be. This is a honor for her to do - and I think she will soar with this program!

Selina chose to share the acceptance letter that afternoon with Victoria, upon picking her up after school. She was smart enough ( See thats where toria gets it ;) ), to snap a pic as victoria read through the letter and learned of her great accomplishment!

Congratulations Victoria! We are so very proud of you!
( and hat's off to Jeff and Selina too - your raising two terrific kids - and it shows!)

Victoria -

Uncle Mikey, Daya and I along with your Mommy and Daddy as so excited to share this new adventure with you and watch you grow even more. We beleive in you and support you and cannot wait to see your smile as you tell us everything new your learning. Never forget who you are and where you come from - and realize just how blessed you are young lady.

All our love,
Uncle Mikey, Aunt April and Daya too!

Friday, September 18, 2009

I had a lunch date

In the middle of the afternoon there Daya and I were sitting on the lawn, under a huge oak tree eating our watermellon, hamburgers and sipping chocolate milk with a very special lil' man...

Sounds nice huh!

Morgan called a couple of weeks ago to invite Daya and I to his school for the family BBQ so we gladly went and joined him.
It was a beautiful afternoon, the food wasnt too bad ( lets keep in mind it IS school lunch ) and we got to play in the feild at recess time too! His teacher isn't very friendly or accomodating so we didn't get to stay and read or anything like that as Daya and Morgan were hoping - but all in all it was a wonderful treat.

The more I spend time with these lil people the more I love them - its funny to see them in their "environment" they really are fun to watch and for a people watcher like myself its so funny and entertaining!

on a end note Even more so than putting daya in with senior citizens putting daya in with her cousin's classmates .... is like throwing fresh meat to a bunch of sharks. Good lord!

Thanks Morgan for the invite!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


BODY PART DAY OF SURGERY (3/27/09) 6w VISIT (4/20/09) 3m post op (7/14/09) 4 month anniversary (7/27/09) 5 Month anniversary 8/27/09 & DIFFERENCE FROM SURGERY DAY!
Left Arm 14.5" 14" 12" 11" 10.5" -4.00"
Left Thigh 28.5" 25.75" 21" 19.5" 19" -9.5"
Left Calf -- -- -2.75" 14" 14" 12" -4.75

Chest ( across largest point in bra ) 50.25" 47.5" 42.5" 41" 40" -10.25"
Waist 49" 45.5" 37" 35" 32" -17"
Hips 50" 48" 42" 41" 37"-13"
Neck 15.75" 14.75" 13.5" -- 13.5" -2.25"
Wrist 7.75" -- -- -- 6" 6" 5.75" -2.00"

-62.75 " lost all over ( of course mostely boobs, butt and stomach :) ). Its been 5m 2 weeks and a few days since surgery and I am holding at 140-142lbs right now. Wearing 6/8 on bottom and 8/10 on top.

My hair is coming back in a little but I still loose a ton daily too!

As sick as it is, I dont see myself in the mirror yet - but am still working on getting moved into my new body. All in all I am extremely happy and so proud of my self! I would have never imaged this freedom, and how bad I really was....

Friday, September 4, 2009

WLS : 5 months post op

You get the idea! ( Mike said he will try to take some comparrison pics this weekend )

Wow - When time flies it really does fly. I keep forgetting to get my 5 month photos taken and put up - so since its past I'll have to put a crappy one up just for your veiwing pleasure.
August 27th - marked 5 months post op.
As of that day I was down 82lbs.
I had about 15-17lbs to go.
Comfortably I am wearing a size 8 ... most are size 6.
The weight loss has slowed way down thank goodness and I am eating more calories now. Trying to get in about 900-1000 a day with working out. It seems to be working well.

Thats about a week ago - and even with a vacation and not eating right I am down 4lbs!
Today's weight at 5 months 2 weeks post op is 142.2lbs!
I wont do measurements till this months anniversary so stay tuned!
Mike said he is now down about 35lbs too!!! Just 20lbs

more to go for him - I am so proud!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Nutty Jumbles

2 Egg Whites

1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

pinch of salt

1 cup chopped almonds

1 cup chopped pecans

1 cup granola clusters ( I used Origin's brand honey oat clusters )

Saturday, August 15, 2009

My 10 affirmations, or something like it

Last week I blogged that Dr. Palmer wanted me to write out 10 self Affirmations
So here's what I turned in. I suggest that anyone who is having any self issues sits down and tries this excersize. It's not anywhere close to easy for me to do this, and I would think it wouldn't come that easily for anyone, esp those with self image or self worth issues.
How to : Slow down long enough to think about yourself. Now write down 10 things about your-self. 10 -self affirmations. Have fun
10 Affirmations about me - by me
1. I am STRONG
In all that I do, even if I feel it's too much or more than I could or would want to handle - I am strong. I am strong and always do well.
An ear to listen, a shoudler to cry on? A can of food, or the shirt of my back? A simple hug or I love you? I am good at all of these and more. I am giving and loving.
Sounds conceided, but its true. I do know this. Sometimes I stare at myself and think how lucky I am. When my eyes are green with happiness and my skin is well hydrated and I am feeling well - I beleive I glow. I beleive I am beautiful.
4. I am HONEST
I own my mistake, own up to my faults and never lie. In all my actions and words I am honest.
I give all my love and deserve it right back. Anyform or Anyways I am worth loving.
6. I am a " GOOD " PERSON
I never try to intentionally hurt someone or something. I like to be unto others as I would like them to be to me. I am a " good " person.
7. I am " HAPPY"
I always try to find the good in situations, news or things. I am always " happy " with looking at it as " its a 1/2 full glass " it takes alot to truely upset me or my thinking. I am " Happy".
Along with the others hats I wear day in and day out I have 2 major accomplishments. My Husband and my Daughter. I always try to do my best for them and by them often times putting myself completely aside. I am a great mother and wife.
As you can see I haven't yet thought of #9 and #10. Its much harder than I thought it would be....
But it's a start!

Sunday, May 31, 2009


When it comes to my body apparently many are now feeling its ok to give me a report on how I am doing... LOL!
Alot of people keep saying theres a big difference, but then theres a few who see me who say " they cant tell".
I truely dont notice it on myself until my clothes are way different or something. I like many other people who have gone through this am still seeing ME in the mirror. That brings the bad with the good.

Today was good though :)

For the first time in MANY years ( at least 10! ) I shopped in the Minus Section ( you know, as opposed to the Plus size section that I am soooo accustom to) picked up the only pair of shorts the store had left in the color I wanted, noticed it was a size 12, laughed and ...
THEN SMILED!!! They fit fine. Im not happy with how my body is looking/changing and you could see my rollies on the top so I didnt buy them, but it was sure nice to not have to suck in, hold my breath and hope for some gut suckers! LMAO!
I know in a few more weeks, as long as I keep up the hard work they will be loose too, and Ill be laughing at myself but its great motivation! To think a lil over 2 months ago I was snug in some 20's. And now litterally most are completely falling off!

Ive never felt better health wise, I have a ton of energy, a whole new outlook and now a new size! All this hard work is worth it! Its got to be! I changed my life!
I truely know why they say this is the best bonus to the long journey Im taking. And can clearly see why those who DO HAVE THE SURGERY for weight loss are pleased! My honey moon phase will soon be over, and I will find myself struggling to NOT loose weight. That very thought is scarey to me, and uncharted so I do get anxious of whats to come... for now though - learning the healthy ways!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

WLS : 2 months out and I know where I am headed

Today marks my 2 month surgiversary!
This week when I saw the sign ( see above )
I knew exactly which way I needed to go... and I am still headed in that direction! I will Succeed!
Everyday still brings new choices, new lessons and new ways of doing things but for the most part I would say I am doing well.
I do have cravings, and I do cave... But I am human.
I am still eating 500-700 calories a day. Trying for 6 meals but more likely getting 3-4 in. I do take both vitamins and my minerals each day though and just this week re-introduced my kidney meds. Sounds silly but really thats ALOT to accomplish!
The scale is somewhere around 176-179lbs and I am holding at a size 14/16.
Im happy! Beyond happy and more than the weight loss, I am so excited to officially announce I AM OFF MOST OF MY MEDICATIONS WITH NO SIGNS OF THEM COMING BACK!!!! After all it has only been 2 months since surgery day!
I have alot to be thankful for... Im happy, healthy and 1/2 way to goal. Life is hard, but good!

Heres my 2 month pics...

Body Close Up - Full Veiw - Head Shot

Monday, April 27, 2009

WLS Update : 1 Month Post op

Today marks my 1 month " surgiversary! ".

For the most part I feel pretty good about everything and about how I am doing and the whole ins and outs, but theres still alot of wonder, worry and doubt as to if I am doing something or anything right.
Everyone who has been through this assures me that this is all completely normal and I wouldnt be a true RNYer if I didnt think, feel and wonder all this stuff. That keeps me grounded though.

This whole journey has been a learning adventure, and to this day its still throwing curves at me.

I am now eating up to 4oz in most meals... pushing for 6 meals a day. But usually lucky to force down 4. When I say force I do mean FORCE! I am getting alot better about getting my fluids in ( 80oz + ) and I am failing misserably at the whole 80 grams a day of protein. This is when I have to remind myself that I AM ONLY A MONTH OUT!!!
Im really lucky with my pouch though. I do handle most foods really well. Even foods that some post op's NEVER are able to eat again i.e. Eggs, milk, spices, sweets.
Now the sweet's could get me in the end. I havent pushed it but I do know it tolerate alot more sugar that most do. I havent truely had a dumping session yet ( if you dont know what " dumping " is ... google it. ) so I havent experianced the pain, sweats, lethargy, and missery that comes with all that and I can honestly say I am ok with that. I do stay away from those things.

People are asking more and more - What do you miss? Is there anything you want? so here you go.
Is there anything I want? well... as in food? YES. I crave chinese. Its a no no! and as in life? YES. I want people to start to relax and relize how far I have come and that even in this short amount of time its clear this was the best choice!

Heres another Question I get - Do you regret anything about this?
NO - My answer is NO. Yes, its hard. Yes, I get scared but I do not regret anything about this journey, I have been learning so much and the only thing I regret is not realizing I shoulda saught help sooner. I love not taking 13+ pills a day. I love the freedom of knowing my medical conditions arent holding me down, back or in anymore... I dont regret anything for one minute. I feel my story has been blessed. Its been relatively easy to make the changes, and totally worth the work I have had to and continue to need to put into it all!

As for my progress :

I know I have lost somewhere around 16" total over my body. And around 30lbs since surgery 4 weeks ago but not sure how much exactly. I hate the scale!
I am comfortably wearing a size 14/16 pant and a 16 jeans. XL shirt.
I will weigh in soon, but not right now. I just cant.

I really REALLY feel I am not loosing like I should be - but yet they assure me I am! It still plays major mind games with me.
That being said we do know I would be doing even better if I could get my thyroid to regulate, my water intake up all the time and in general stick to my eating every 2 hours.
I really HATE seeing the pre-op and day of pics - I think I need to retire the outfit too.. its getting too big and is now stained beyond saving. Excuse the crappy pics but you get the idea!

and just because I dont ALWAYS wear pajamas...

60lbs to go!!!