Its hard being a pup!

You asked - Here it is... the update.

Hanna has been home for 2 weeks now.

Fun times! Lol. That sums alot up.

No, actually it's been pretty good. She has been so good, and fits perfectly with our family.

Big sister Kia, has finally started playing with her, and showing her how to be a dog ( well our dog ), Hanna has decided puppy chow is not good enough for her and now demands to be fed what kia eats ( we make and buy some dog food ). Her favorite game is chasing Madaya around the house, and seems to have taken to resting on Kia's rawhide. She doesnt chew on it, rather using it as a pillow. Weirdo. I am so happy we spent the money on the nice dog bed ( can you see me rolling my eyes? ).

Oh hanna....

We love you!

WLS Update : 9 months post op

9 months post op - No way!



I do not know how this time keeps going by so quickly. It dawned on me Christmas Morning that at this time last year I was crying cause I was dissapointed that my surgery had been post poned. What a difference a year had made though -

here I was sitting in my chair which is way too big for me now, in sweats I hade bought on clearance last year after christmas in hopes I would fit into them ( a size 4/6 ) that are now too loose on me, and so different in each and every way now.

I am blessed and what better way to remember it?! I broke out the photos of last christmas to recall. This is still an incredibly painful thing to do. I had no idea how depressed the weight really made me and visa versa!



So ... 9 months here is where I am at.



Emotionally: I still have my struggles. More so with the fact that what the pro's warned be about others and how they handle my journey is true! Many are no ok with the fact that I changed my habbits, my styles and my needs. They dont handle me being selfish with my needs, despite the fact that other that food being for nutrition only now, I haven't changed for or with them in any other way. I struggle daily thinking and worrying about what others think and I am working hard to correct this. As we know its not about " them ". I don't cry as often as I used to, but I am still very much having " anxiety " attacks if you will, when I go out to eat, think about a big holiday or gathering with food etc. I work myself into a panic about wondering when and if I can eat ok when others are around. My comfort zones are well known as well as my comfort foods. Its clear now how much emotions really did play into my food choices back then.



Self Image : I struggle. I do now see " ME " in the mirror, but its not the reflection I expected to see. I don't expect anyone to know what that means but when I look I still see what I know of me. Loving, Caring, Fun, Happy, and Free..... just much smaller on the outside. Just as much as I used to pick myself apart when I was bigger, I do it now that I am smaller. I get sick at the sight of my skin, my rolls and my shape. It makes me sad to think I have no breast, no butt, and wrinkles in my face. I still do not beleive that I can go almost anywhere and buy a size 4/6 and " slip them on ". I am learning to be comfortable but it takes time... and I am still new.

The physcologist thinks I have moved into my new body... were working on the mind.



Self Esteem : WOW! I have always known who I am... but sometimes even I doubted it. Honestly this journey has brought to light many many things. One of them is just how strong I really am. Sure, I know I have endured alot - but at what cost? Now I know why, and that I can do many things on many levels.

I.e. Going back to work. I will use this as my most latest because it is the latest. I have been blessed to have great jobs in my past - a few of which I loved alot.... but this new one is amazing and I am led to beleive alot has to do with who and where I am in life at this moment. I cannot recall a time in recent years I could have been hired for this job, to be on my feet all hours of the day, touching, talking and being looked at my so many families day in and out... without fear of " of my gosh they think Im fat " running through my head! Its nice to not hide behind my phone as a receptionist because I have a great voice - but to be seen as a whole person. As much as I would have liked to think people didnt think I was big, fat or whatever they wanted to call me --- I was. They did!

Its all so different now. I love to slip on my work clothes, put on my make up and think - WOW I AM APRIL AND I CAN DO THIS!



Physically :

I am tired. They say this comes from the low iron levels. I am still anemic.

My bones ACHE!!! And I do mean ache - but they say its because your body isnt used to not having the fat padding it used to around all the joints, and bones in general. This gets better with time ( lord willing! ).

But I am doing ok. I am getting - for the most part - my 6 meals in a day, and am now slowly getting more active in hopes of finding that balance. Soon will be adding in swimming to the plan and looking forward to that!



Summary :

9 months post op RNY Bypass.

Currently about 130lbs and struggling to get back to the 135-140 range!

Size loose 4/6 bottoms and S/M on most tops.

Ring size is now a 7.5 ( was 11 )

Still not cycling normally, batteling thyroid and iron issues.





And since its been a few months since I have done measurments I will post this :



BODY PART DAY OF SURGERY (3/27/09) 6w VISIT (4/20/09) 3m post op (7/14/09) 4 month anniversary (7/27/09) 6m anniversary (9/27/09) & 9 month anniversary (12/27/09 )DIFFERENCE FROM SURGERY DAY!
Left Arm 14.5" 14" 12" 11" 10.75" 10.0" -4.5"
Left Thigh 28.5" 25.75" 21" 19.5" 18.5" 18.5" -10"
Left Calf -- -- -2.75" 14" 14" 13" 13" -3.75"
Chest ( across largest point in bra ) 50.25" 47.5" 42.5" 41" 38" 38" -12.25"

Waist 49" 45.5" 37" 35" 33" 31" -18"
Hips 50" 48" 42" 41" 37" 36" -14"
Neck 15.75" 14.75" 13.5" -- 13" 12.75" -3"
Wrist -- -- -- -- 6" 6" 6" 5.75"



Total loss 65.5+" in 9 months.

WLS UPDATE : GOAL REACHED

I don't know that I will hold this weight long but it was my pre-surigical goal. To meet this goal would mean that I have now lost 100% of my excess weight!

Going into this the surgeon warned me that I may never see true goal, or that it would/should take about 18-36 months to do so but through the progression of it all it was soon decided I would indeed see that goal.

They wanted me at 135lbs as an ideal weight before my reconstruction and tummy tuck because it is estimated that I am carrying about 20lbs of skin/sub q tissue. So at 135 - 20lbs tech its est. I would be about 115lbs.

Obviously thats too thin, so I don't get to play around with it. I get to try to maintain until I am fixed. Shouldn't be too hard though now that were trying to get pregnant I am sure I can keep/ put on a few pounds!

So as of this morning I think its safe to say I have met my weight goal! I've been floating around it for a couple of weeks now, trying to slow the loss down - but today looks like its here. This is what I found this morning on my scale.....

Now let me say that while I am confident enough to say I have met my goal weight - I am not confident but am truely honest enough to say that I have not met my medical, my mental or my health goals yet. It is taking a toll on me and totally taking its sweet time to all set in. I make poor choices day in and day out and I am trying so hard to break this now while I am a " newbie " before I end up right where I was. Don't say its not possible because its that attitude that does it in.

It is true that " Just 1 bite, or 1 cheat " can do you in... because it rarely stops at just 1. I have to break this cycle NOW!

Health wise - I am still working very hard on getting and staying healthy. I am making sure to take my vitamins daily, and medications. I am working on getting back on track as we work with the endo and the gyn to get pregnant and making sure all the decission I am making are for the best.

Mental wise - I still don't see me as this size, or beleive it. I still have alot of guilt and anger and more and more get the " wow " moments when I realize that I did help myself be unhealthy before. The actions are so clear in hindsight. I like to beat myself up over it though - not good!

So ----

For now I will end this update with this

Today, SATURDAY OCTOBER 17th, 6 months 2 weeks and 6 days since my life changed forever and I walked the new trail of this journey...

I have met my goal - Today I weight 135lbs!!

WLS : 6 Month Surgi-versary

6 months is here and now gone ...

It's now been 6 months since my life changed forever. This past week was full of appointments for and to do with my WLS and my 6 month surgiversary.
First off a check up with my endocrinologist revealed that my thyroid is now being over stimulated, so again, the dose needs lowered. I will drop down to 150mcg of Levoxyl and stay on the 10mcg of sytomel. Hopefully with this tweak my thyroid can become regular again. All other things appear to be somewhat normal or increasingly better from her standpoint.
Second a trip to my OB/GYN to try to figure out why I have yet to pass this latest pregnancy ( they suspected a chemical pg / early misscarriage ) and to find out where my female health stands at this point. What I got out of it was a pap- oh joy, and a lecture on how this much extra skin stores estrogen reserves and can cause some pain down below ( gee- ya think?! ) He did however run more test, update my chart, and tell me that he is 100% ok with me Trying to get pregnant upon my surgeons realease and that we would work in that direction as soon as I am balanced out again. It was good to see him as I havent seen him since after roo was born - and even better see what the scale said.... 139lbs! Fully clothed. With a script for the fertility drugs in hand that we can use when we are ready and some lab slips in the other I left his office to go upstairs to my 3rd and final appointment for my 6 month check up -

I met with Megan Vulcan the ARNP for my 6th month check up at 1pm. I weighed in and then took myseat anxiously because I was feeling like I havent succeeded in this journey.
HA!
She came in with a chart that showed somem percentages " 40% 41-60% 61-80% 81-100% " and then my name with a 97%. She didn't say anything about this chart at first, and went on to go over my labs, where I learned I am anemic ( need to go back on iron injections ) and that my overall lab work looked good. Infact so good that it led her to that 97% on the paper..... I am 6 months out and have lost 97% of my excess weight! I have <5lbs style="color:#ff0000;">(226)
Jeans size 6 (18)
Tops S-M (XXL)
Shoes 7 (8.5)
Ring 8 (11)

Measurements :

BODY PART DAY OF SURGERY (3/27/09) 6w VISIT (4/20/09) 3m post op (7/14/09) 4 month anniversary (7/27/09) & 6m anniversary (9/27/09) & DIFFERENCE FROM SURGERY DAY!

Left Arm 14.5" 14" 12" 11" 10.75" -3.75"

Left Thigh 28.5" 25.75" 21" 19.5" 18.5" -10"

Left Calf -- -- -2.75" 14" 14" 13"

Chest ( across largest point in bra ) 50.25" 47.5" 42.5" 41" 38" -12.25"
Waist 49" 45.5" 37" 35" 33" -16"

Hips 50" 48" 42" 41" 37" -13"

Neck 15.75" 14.75" 13.5" -- 13" -2.75"

Wrist -- -- -- -- 6" 6" 6"

Total loss 57.75" in 86lbs!

We knew she was special but now THEY think so too!

A few months back my SIL had received a letter in the mail stating that her daughter had been nominated and would soon be tested for the Tessera program, and they would keep her informed as to if she is making it through each step needed to be accepted into the program... we waited anxiously as they " tested " and did their little hoopla they have to do.
I was one proud auntie for sure to be thinking this is amazing, we know she is so special - now THEY think she is too!

While they tested my neice, they never really said what for, but she kinda knew it was something special because a very select few got to do what she was doing, she handled it very well though and went about her normal 8 year old self funloving summer!

Then comes the best news..... I about screamed ( maybe I did scream?! ) as my SIL read me the letter

( of which I will see if I can attach a copy here )

To the parents of VICTORIA WORLEY,

...... Victoria has been selected for entry into the Tessera program!

Then as she read more I cried. I am so stinking happy for this little girl. She is so bright and shows so much promise. Anyone who sees this child work on math, reading and just about anything inbetween can see she clearly is above where she shoudl be. This is a honor for her to do - and I think she will soar with this program!

Selina chose to share the acceptance letter that afternoon with Victoria, upon picking her up after school. She was smart enough ( See thats where toria gets it ;) ), to snap a pic as victoria read through the letter and learned of her great accomplishment!


Congratulations Victoria! We are so very proud of you!
( and hat's off to Jeff and Selina too - your raising two terrific kids - and it shows!)

Victoria -

Uncle Mikey, Daya and I along with your Mommy and Daddy as so excited to share this new adventure with you and watch you grow even more. We beleive in you and support you and cannot wait to see your smile as you tell us everything new your learning. Never forget who you are and where you come from - and realize just how blessed you are young lady.

All our love,
Uncle Mikey, Aunt April and Daya too!

I had a lunch date

In the middle of the afternoon there Daya and I were sitting on the lawn, under a huge oak tree eating our watermellon, hamburgers and sipping chocolate milk with a very special lil' man...

Sounds nice huh!

Morgan called a couple of weeks ago to invite Daya and I to his school for the family BBQ so we gladly went and joined him.
It was a beautiful afternoon, the food wasnt too bad ( lets keep in mind it IS school lunch ) and we got to play in the feild at recess time too! His teacher isn't very friendly or accomodating so we didn't get to stay and read or anything like that as Daya and Morgan were hoping - but all in all it was a wonderful treat.

The more I spend time with these lil people the more I love them - its funny to see them in their "environment" they really are fun to watch and for a people watcher like myself its so funny and entertaining!

on a end note Even more so than putting daya in with senior citizens putting daya in with her cousin's classmates .... is like throwing fresh meat to a bunch of sharks. Good lord!

Thanks Morgan for the invite!

WLS: 5 month line up